First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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