Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize