i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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