Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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