I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
