Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
