you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
