He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
