I look better un-naked...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
