White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
