I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
