Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
