Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
