i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
