My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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