all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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