Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
