pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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