And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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