He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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