Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
