I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
