I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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