Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
