Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
