They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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