I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
