just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Vodka?
Forever.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
