ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
