All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
