Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize