its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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