Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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