i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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