i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
