So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize