Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
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