We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
