He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
