I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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