I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
