the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
