He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
