Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
