she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
