She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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