Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.

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(315): View more from New York

yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it

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