Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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