He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
