Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have aggressive nipples.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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