Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
