how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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