A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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