Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
