Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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