Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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