saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
